Mary is on her knees in front of Henry in his bedroom, hoping he’ll listen to her before he gets carried away.
‘Henry I must inform you I am, once again, pregnant’, she waits silently for his reaction.
‘Oh what did you let that happen for? Haven’t you seen Catherine? I can’t go back to that! Oh fine. You’d better hope your husband’s willing to take it on. I suppose I can find someone else.
‘Your Majesty’ replied Mary, feeling rather relieved that Henry wasn’t too angry, ‘William will of course accept the child, we are hoping for a boy to inherit the estate William now has due to your generous gifts.’
‘Very well, if it’s a boy I may make a further gift, I can’t see my son as a mere sir now can I? You may go.’
‘Thank you my Lord’
Mary backs out of Henry’s bedroom and jumps for joy. Smiling, she dashes back to the room she shares with Jane, soon to be her sister-in-law to the great joy of everyone but Anne.
‘Thank God that’s over Jane! If I had to go on pretending he’s the best lover since sliced bread I think I’d go mad (yes Jane I know that doesn’t get invented for another 400 years, but honestly, when it does he’ll claim he’s better than it!) I mean I know he’s tall and handsome and he’s the king and yes before all this I could think of nothing better than being dressed in amazing clothes and jewels and swanning around on his arm but it’s really not like that. I mean you know he barely acknowledges me until Catherine’s out the room, then he wants to dance so he can ‘subtly’ grope me in front of everyone, then it’s up to bed to spend 20 minutes assuring him that I only danced with my husband for the sake of appearances, a ten minute fumble, and let me assure you those cod pieces? Not needed. Followed by half an hour listing reasons he’s better than Francis! All to get kicked out of bed and sent back here.
I just hope whoever he picks to entertain him this time can keep him; I don’t want him back once I’ve pushed this sprog out! I mean yes I’d rather be pregnant than put up with him but neither would be better! Anyway right now I’m packing my bags and going back to Will’s rooms!’
‘So who am I to share with?’ asked Jane suspiciously
‘Anne I think’ replied Mary ‘I know I’m so sorry’ she continued looking at the horrified look on her friends face ‘it’s Uncles idea- keep it in the family- look you’ll be married soon and the you’ll be out of here’
‘I suppose’ said Jane ‘I can’t wait; you know George treats me like a princess. Hey wait; he’s not a… erm chipolata is he?’
‘Eww Jane! That’s my brother! How would I know? Anne might though…’
‘Anne might know what’ Anne asked walking through the door. ‘Haven’t you packed yet Mary? My stuffs all ready to some in here, get a move on! I still can’t believe you were stupid enough to get pregnant again I mean herbs and the cotton wool should have done it. You’ll have lost him now you know, William will be a sir forever, and father just a lord. Uncle Howard’s already looking for one of us girls to jump into your place, and he won’t help you get it back when you’ve had this one.’
‘Why don’t you go for him Anne? Asked Jane.
‘Me?’ Anne looked horrified as Jane and Mary smiled at each other ‘me become the mistress of the king? I’m unmarried Jane! I can’t be the kings’ whore no one would look at me again! I wish I was though. I’d do a better job of it than Mary did. You could get away with it Jane, at least you’re betrothed and there’s no way Uncle Howard would let George throw you off if you were the king’s mistress.’
‘Yeah George would love that’ commented Mary ‘besides Anne it’s really not as good as you make it out to be.’
‘Yeah ok Mary, you keep telling yourself that, you only spent five years going to bed with the most handsome man in Europe, being showered with gifts, no one really believes that ship’s named after his sister you know!’
‘Hey Anne if you’re really that keen on him, go for it, he’ll soon marry you off to someone to make it look respectable, he doesn’t mind giving you estates for the kids but he doesn’t want the expense of setting up another Fitzroy’ suggested Jane.
‘Hmm that’s not a bad idea… he could marry me off to that nice Francis Weston, he’s only a sir so he’d be happy to get the titles and money, shame Harry Percy’s married, but then what do you tempt an Earl with? I’m going to go talk to uncle Norfolk’ said Anne running out the room
‘Don’t come crying to me when it all goes wrong’ Mary called after her……